Hey!
So this is the second part of my 'Finding Me' series. There are many different topics I want to cover and share with you which I think have played a part in my journey, this week I want to cover social media, the effects it has had on my life and why I have decided to take a step back form it all.
For a while I compared my life to other people's on Instagram, constantly wishing I had someone else's life because to me these people had the 'perfect' lives. Travelling with their DJ boyfriends around the world, moving into new homes, being madly in love, having amazing bodies, buying all the best products, having great style, the list is endless. I would look at my best friends followers and think "well she must be liked more because she has 200+ more followers than me and she always gets loads of likes on her selfie's, why does she get all the attention and I don't?"
It upset's me just thinking about it because now I realise how shallow and ridiculous this was, I was bitter and insecure.
These kind of demoralising thoughts are what make you miserable and bring your own life down. I recently came to the realisation that people only share their 'best' bits on Instagram or Facebook and that anyone can make their life look great on these platforms. No-one knew what I was going through because I only ever share the happy times on Instagram, I can make my life look exciting when really it isn't all that as most of the time I'm in my room studying. I know people who will delete a photograph if it doesn't have enough likes, I will admit that I've done that myself in the past. You become so obsessed with searching for validation from strangers that you forget to look at what's real, you don't need to prove yourself to anyone and just because you have double figure likes on your upload doesn't make you a better person. I also found myself comparing my body to other people's, wishing that the fat would just melt off my body and I did stop myself from eating certain things because in the back of my mind I was worrying about my figure. We all do it and its not unheard of, its just human to have those thoughts but when it is affecting your mental well-being then it is a problem. Obviously now I realise that looking on Instagram is not going to benefit me in any way, and that I know nothing about these people so why should I just presume they are living a wonderful happy life. I have realised that none of that stuff matters, I still enjoy looking through Instagram but now that I am more in touch with myself I don't look at it through a negative perspective. Yes it's nice to take a selfie (Kim Kardashian made a whole book of her OWN selfie's) and put it on Instagram, wait for the likes to come in and get a little boost when it goes into double figures but is that really what should be giving me a boost?
You don't have to spend an hour trying to get the perfect selfie to put on Instagram before you leave the house for you to feel good about yourself, let a real life person admire your beauty, or even better admire your own beauty.
Here are some tips that have helped me to live a more social media free life -
- Avoid spending the first hour of your morning scrolling through your Facebook feed, this will only result in seeing things that will annoy you which could then ruin your mood for the rest of the day. Instead, get up, put your favourite happy song on, have a dance or make a cuppa and chill.
- Try and have one day a week free from looking at any social media sites and then tell me how you feel.
- Distract yourself from wasting time scrolling through each site by reading a book or sitting and having a real life conversation with a friend or family member. You can pick up the phone too.
- Finally, avoid the social media platforms you know will have a negative impact on your day. Currently mine are Facebook and Twitter. Simply just don't look or delete them.
From this it leads me onto technology and how we are becoming so consumed by our mobile phones, tablets and laptops, people aren't living in the moment anymore, we are forever living through our phones and missing experiences or opportunities. I found a recent quote from a magazine called Womankind and it said "I feel that many of us live our lives through these technological devices and become oblivious to our surroundings."
I spent a lot of time on my phone to try and make myself feel less lonely and more connected to people, but in reality consuming yourself with your mobile phone only makes you more lonely. I got to a point where being on my phone out of boredom and loneliness only made me feel worse, I'd get irritable and restless because there was nothing new to look at and no-one was paying me any attention. Once I started reading, I found a new escapism and a distraction from all that rubbish, plus I was learning which is a lot more stimulating for your brain than an artificially lit screen. I now make a conscious effort to PUT MY PHONE DOWN and actually connect with the real life world.
For example the other day, I came out of uni and my phone was in my bag (where it should be), I was looking up rather than down into my phone screen and actually said "hi" to a REAL LIFE person.
Another example, I was walking back from the supermarket, again looking up and a lovely guy gave me a friendly smile and I smiled back. It instantly brightened my day and it was so nice to have that little bit of interaction. Now that I am more conscious of it, I see it more around me. People on their phones constantly instead of interacting and having conversations with each other, its like people are scared to actually talk to each other. Next time you go on a train or bus, look around you and look at how everyone is staring at their iPhone's or tablet's. You miss out on so much being glued to those electronic mind altering devices, you miss the clear blue skies, the birds, your natural surroundings, acquaintances etc. Never again do I want to be with someone who when they are spending time with me would rather be on their phone checking who's unfollowed them on Instagram (yes there is an app which does this) than actually having a meaningful conversation with me.
Whilst I am on the topic of technology I would also like to say that I think televisions are also electronic mind altering devices that feed you with nothing but crap. Listen to music, read a book, look at the stars, go for a walk, spend time with people that matter, have a conversation.
Your missing out on what's real and what's important in life by consuming yourself with these devices, I'm not saying cut them out of your life completely but be more conscious of your use and limit yourself. I have seen massive improvements in my self-esteem and moods since taking a step back from all that and I actually appreciate spending time with family and friends so much more.
Lauren x
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